At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
