so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
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Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
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My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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