everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
