Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I need a hoe opinion
go on
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
