Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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