so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
