there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
