Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
this just has baby written all over it
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
