I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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