hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
