he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Mom said you looked used
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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