Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
