don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
