in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
