Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize