Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
