I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He felt like a one man threesome
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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