what if every blade of grass was a penis?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
