theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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