i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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