I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
