They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
