I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
