singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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