going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize