The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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