I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
