i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
zippers are such a cool invention
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
