So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize