I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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