I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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