Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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