Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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