So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
