Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
