just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize