i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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