I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
