Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
