You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
