have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Hippo gnu deer
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
