was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
