i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
