I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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