i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
