Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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