it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
