At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
