what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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