shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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