Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize