If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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