Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize