Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
