mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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