i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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