you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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