...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
