If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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